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    Monday, May 9th, 2005
    12:10 pm
    Log in Progress: Jessica and G'deon.


    Beach (#5641)
    Ancient dunes have been flattened by the endless parade of people and dragons that tramp northwest across the bowl, leaving a mere skiff of sand here along lake's beaten edge. Footprints litter the curve of beach, some left turns ago and caught frozen in the heavy clay earth near the water's edge. As the sun sets, shadows invade, creeping like fingers across the gently sloping ground and darkening the distant ledges on the far side of the lake.
    To the north, dust rises from the redolent pens while the flattened disc of the main bowl is just a step to the northwest.
    It is an autumn evening. The moons rise in the clear, starry sky. The northerly breeze has died back a bit but it is still quite cool, and the absence of cloud cover promises the night to be even cooler still.
    To the north, you see a green dragon.
    To the northwest, you see twelve dragons.
    Darting here and there are eleven firelizards.
    Green Alymath, blue Esryth, and green Celvynath are here.
    Obvious exits:
    Stables Feeding Pens Central Bowl Lake



    Jessica (#25390)
    Clearest cerulean makes for a beautiful gaze, and almost-too-large eyes contrast the rest of her small features. Her petite button nose is reminiscent of childhood, and small red lips are plump and almost glossy. Her hair is dead-straight; falling almost limply in pale yellow and dark honey shades to just below her shoulders. It is cut in layers around her face, obviously by someone with skill, making her appearance a little softer, though not much. Her smooth, soft-looking skin is slightly tanned, and marked with light sun-blemishes on her face and arms. Her legs are especially long in comparison with her arms... and although still slim, there's still evidence of puppy fat in her cheeks and on her hips.
    A short, crisp rose-pink tunic is fitted to her upper body. The material, still starchly stiff, looks quite new. Deep scooped neckline allows for a shoulder to be bared should Jessi so desire, the rest a close fit all the way down to her mid-thigh. From there, a pair of new (and just as crisp) white trous take over, a little looser than the last pair, and hemmed at the knee. Brown sandals complete the outfit.
    A bronze ring, slightly too big and rather plain, is upon her left thumb. A brown firelizard is perched on her shoulder.
    She is a young adult of about 20. She is awake and looks alert.


    ------

    On an autumn afternoon, with the sun rapidly sinking towards the horizon, Jessica is perched on a towel on the thin stretch of sand near the lake. With an oversized shirt slipped over her swimsuit, she's lying on her back, propped up on her elbows, watching the water lap the shore. Jessica looks to be deep in thought; or perhaps she's deep in not-thought. Both are possibilities for the young blonde, soaking up the last of the sun's rays today.
    Wednesday, March 23rd, 2005
    12:36 pm
    OOC: Wait no longer... the log is here.
    Yup. Finished /that/ scene. There's more to come, because I've got a few more scenes before another entry from Jess... but for the curious, here's the first of the few.

    'I'll have one of the local legal experts draft up a binding document, and we can sign it in blood in the dead of night while shrouded by black capes.' (G'deon, Jessica) )
    Tuesday, March 22nd, 2005
    1:45 pm
    OOC Stuff
    I have logs. And scenes to finish. And will update once the aforementioned are edited/completed.

    In the meantime, I'm following suit. If anyone has questions for Jess, shoot; I'll do my best for y'all.
    Thursday, March 10th, 2005
    10:53 pm
    Wednesday, March 9th, 2005
    9:04 am
    Monday, March 7th, 2005
    10:45 pm
    Less-than-attractive...

    I'm so embarrassed.

    I look like a freak.

    There's wires coming in and out of my mouth at all sorts of angles, I can't speak properly, I can't eat properly... and I've got a tooth knocked out of my head. That's what the wires are for... to keep it in place. Master Borax from Fort says it will take weeks to heal... and until then, I've got to keep this stupid wire mask on. Not to mention the cost... I paid through the nose to look this freakish!

    I should have known better. That's what it comes down to... me, getting emotional, and thinking I'm better than I really am. I should have just stood back and let that guard do his worst.

    I'm so bloody stupid!  You know, everyone's probably right in thinking I'm still that dumb little girl stealing all the cookies.  I wish I still was that girl... at least I was good at stealing cookies. 

    I'm 20 now.  No-one noticed, except Mama.  It's kind of good that way... but I wish I had someone.  Maybe he'd know I wasn't stupid and then I could stop being stupid because he'd know I wasn't.  If someone knew I wasn't stupid... I

    wouldn't

    be

    stupid.

    And he'd care.  And he'd love me, and I'd love him, and everything would be alright because of it.  And I'd be pretty, and he wouldn't see my missing tooth or my black eye or my swollen cheek.  I'm sick of the fuck years.  I want to grow up.

     

    Elehu preps Jessica for treatment: Amazing bond-o and herdbeast-gut.  (Elehu, Jessica) )

    An apology, a request, and lame condolences. (Krummolt, Jessica, Eitanex) )

    Thursday, February 24th, 2005
    8:34 am

    Got nothing done today.  Same as yesterday.  I wish Marond would hurry up with this whole Southern thing.

    Eitanex caught me today.  With those horrible socks on.  He didn't say anything, though.  About the socks, anyway... I wrote a note to Tatia and K'nex, since I haven't been able to catch them.  I hope Sylara doesn't crack up about having to supervise Eit while I'm gone.

    Oh.  Found my pink jacket.  It was under my cot. 

     

    Two things. (Eitanex) )

     

    Letter to Tatia/K'nex. )  

    Thursday, February 17th, 2005
    6:17 pm
    So I finally find some time...

    Well.  I finally find some time to write... and now I can't think of what to start with.  Yes.  Well.

    Oh!  Ok.  X'ian said thanks for the apology I got him.  I kind of had to force it from him, but yeah.  After that he was really nice, and even said sorry to me... I can't remember what for, but nothing major.  Something is most definitely up.  He was asking questions about Marond's plans... something about Ista and Tillek, too?  I told Marond.  Seemed right at the time.  It still does... X'ian hates Marond.  Well, he doesn't lik him, anyway.  Probably just trying to make trouble.  It wouldn't surprise me... we are talking about X'ian, here.

    Eshe tried to give me some more trouble.  I honestly don't know why she bothers... Wyn was there, and she sorted it out for me.  Wyn seems to have some faith in my abilities.  That's reassuring.  I doubt myself... I'm young.  And I know I don't have much commonsense... but I've hardly ever even left the weyr, so there's plenty of life that I haven't lived yet.

    It's depressing, actually knowing that.  I wish I could go back to the way things were.  I just... feel... out of touch.  And out of control.  Yeah, like I'm not in control anymore.  I don't like that feeling. 

    Eitanex is a good kid.  I hope he grows up to be a good man.

     

    OOC LOG: Maybe you should carry a knife, Jessica? (Eitanex) )

    Current Mood: depressed

    Wednesday, February 9th, 2005
    9:51 am
    An eventful morning...

    Oooh, I hate people who don't fill stuff in right.  Makes my job so much harder.

    And I'm sick and tired of the level of disrespect around this weyr.  I don't care if I'm young, if I'm dumb, or if I've got  herdbeast cowering on my head... I'm the Assistant Headwoman, and therefore, weyrfolk obey my orders!  Should.  They should obey my orders.  That sharding bloody hunter-woman that Sylara feels she can't do without... Faranth, she's annoying.  And disrespectful.  I've had just about a gutful of her, and I've only met her once. 

    As for X'ian, I hope he was bloody well happy with the apology I got for him.  Because I busted my bum to get it.  Sharding... Essa.  Esse.  Whatever her name was.  I hope she enjoys her sharding latrine duties.  All X'ian did was threaten to skin her, and he wasn't even close to being serious.  Faranth, she annoys me!  It annoys me to remember!   She obviously hasn't been here long, since she thinks it was such an injustice.  I'd like to see him kick her in the ribs, see how she likes that.

    It's times like these I miss working for him.  X'ian.  I never had to deal with stupid people like her.  It was dark, and quiet... I understand now why he didn't want any noise.  And... why he didn't want me.  I hope I was never as bad as that girl; though from memory, I think I might have been worse.

    Faranth, I miss those days.

    Thursday, January 27th, 2005
    4:10 am
    Ugh.

    How.  How could she not tell me.

    Even if we weren't friends... she knew.  She knew I wanted him.  If she knew, and she /had/ him... why didn't she have the decency to let me know?  At least then I might not have made such an ass of myself.

    Ugh.  I'm so mad.  And embarrassed.  More embarrassed than mad.  Ugh.

      'I think she's upset I didn't tell her it was going on.' (Desba, Jessica, Kalaeya, Rysta, X'ian, Uriala, Michel, Ashli) )

    Monday, January 24th, 2005
    9:15 am
    Oh, Faranth...

    Silas has left.  This should be a good thing, right?  I don't have to like him anymore, and I can spend some more time trying to figure out Marond without worrying about bumping into him...

    So why do I feel so guilty?

    Because he said he loved me.  In a letter.  If you write that kind of stuff down, it must be true... oh, faranth.  Silas loves me.  And I don't love him.  How could I?  I'm so... young.  These are the sex years, not the love years.  Even Wyn agrees on that one... well, to a degree, I think.  At least, that's the impression I got from her.  I don't want to love someone in my sex years.  And I don't want to deal with him loving me while... while I'm crushing on Marond at the same time! 

    Ugh.  Now I feel even worse.  I shouldn't have written the last line.

    Letter To Silas )

    Tuesday, January 11th, 2005
    4:23 pm
    So much to write...
    Ugh. Where do I start.

    So busy! So unbelievably busy since Marond acquired me as his assistant. Hidework. More than I could have ever wanted. Mingling. More than I could have ever asked for. Energy? Less than I've ever had. But it's good; I'm learning so much more than X'ian could have ever taught me. Marond has more tolerance for me, and slightly more patience, I think. Maybe.

    Which brings me to other news: Marond is dreamy. Well, not in the sense that he's picture-perfect... but he's smart. And... smart. I don't know... he makes my tummy flutter. In a good way. I think I like him. I know I like him. I could never tell him. I need to tell someone...

    I like Silas. As well. Does that make me slutty? Silas is... not Marond. He's quiet, he's cute... he's so nice to me. And Siren told him I like him. Having no energy to stay and explain my blushing, I left. And have been avoiding him ever since. How can I talk to him about it while I still like Marond, too? I'm so confused. I need to tell someone.

    Maybe, just maybe... if I work hard, and make no mistakes with the hidework, Marond might notice me like that. He'll see I'm competent, and smart, and witty... I've gotten wittier!... and he'll think to himself that I'm dreamy. Yeah. And Silas will... leave. Somehow. Oh, I feel horrible for writing that. Maybe Marond could be the one to leave...

    I need to tell someone.

    I think I want to wear glasses. I'd look cute in glasses. I might get a pair.
    Monday, November 22nd, 2004
    6:03 am
    Finally, time to write...
    Oh! It's been a long few sevendays... I can't even remember when I last had time to write here. SO much has happened.

    Most importantly, I've got a new job. Marond has promoted me to be his assistant... Sylara as well. He's not so bad, once you work a little more closely with him. I have to have breakfast with him tomorrow to discuss the new tithe that should arrive in a few days time. I'm a little nervous, actually... I've got the fluttery-feeling in my stomach. It's odd. Marond is old, and not attractive... maybe it's just that I'm nervous about helping direct the tithe when it comes. I think I'll style my hair anyways...

    I'm not talking to X'ian. In fact, I'm trying to avoid him altogether. He was so rude when I told him about the promotion... he didn't even congratulate me. And then, when I offered to spend my late evenings still helping him out? He said he'd much rather I just left him alone, because he'd never wanted me to help in the first place. He could've just said that when I asked him if I could help out, rather than be so nasty about it now. Anyway, I'll leave him alone. All the better for me.

    Some kid was down there... I /hope/ he's not X'ian's. That man would be a rotten father. I offered to give him dancing lessons, but haven't seen him since. Ei-ta... Eitanex, I think he said his name was. Cute kid.

    I met this really nice Istan rider a few days ago, too... B'au. He's... different. But very nice. Very very nice.

    Which brings me to Jonas. Who doesn't want to know me. Maybe I was really bad in bed or something... at any rate, I must've been horrible for him to just ignore me! And, when I asked him about it? He says, "You're just a girl, Jessi... there'll be others." Just a girl. Pfft. I'm glad I only slept with him once. He wasn't that great anyway... and he couldn't hold a conversation on anything interesting.

    So. A lot of things have happened. I just hope this breakfast isn't too... uncomfortable. Please, please, please... let it not be uncomfortable.
    Thursday, November 18th, 2004
    5:41 am
    Tuesday, November 9th, 2004
    1:42 pm
    OOC ENTRY

    Ok. So I haven't RPed Jessi in yonks... this is partly due to having a spiffy new dragon to concentrate on for Lauria (hope you're enjoying her, Laur!), partly due to some RL difficulties I'm having at the moment, and also partly due to the fact that I just don't know her. So this is my attempt to put a proper personality to her name and face... rather than just 'she's a little slow' sufficing for her character concept. Feel free to look at the cut and leave comments.

    Jessica )
    Saturday, October 30th, 2004
    10:51 am

    This entry is scrawled in messy handwriting, almost illegible in places.

    He threw me in the lake.  That sharding creep threw me right on in... while I was /hungover/. 

    Well, I'm not letting him get the better of me this time.  I'm going to steal all his... stuff.    

    ...

    But I'll need help.

     

    Siren and Jessica make plans... )

    Current Mood: devious

    Thursday, October 14th, 2004
    8:58 am

    I can't beleive that sharding bloody man.  Thanks to him, I'm going to be scarred for life. 

    Him and his sharding, shelling temper... smashing vases and knocking stuff around in the bowl.  Like the drudges are his personal slaves, and should clean up after his little tantrums.  I don't think that it's right, but hey, who am I to speak?  In fact, I'm not going to talk to him.  Ever.  At all.  Even though it's probably what he's been hoping for... I don't care.  Let him have it his way.  Nasty, horrible, stupid, mean, nasty, creep.  I hope they get sick of his crap and transfer him to another Weyr.  Though I'd be embarassed to say he was one of ours to start with...

    At this point, a large round stain on the page indicates she's been crying.

    I'm going to get a scar.  I just know it.  The healer said it might not scar, if I don't use the hand too much... but I just know it will.  It'd be just my luck to get a horrible scar all the way across my palm.  If it does, I'll kill him.  Or hurt him... okay, or just ignore him for the rest of ever.  I'm going to be ugly and it's all his fault.  I wish... I wish I knew how to irritate him.  The way he does to everyone else.  Creep.  I hope something horrible happens to him.

    Not really... I don't mean that.  I'd die if something horrible really did happen, now...

    Jessi.



    Current Mood: infuriated
    Wednesday, October 6th, 2004
    9:20 am
    New job!
    Well, I did it. I found myself a new job. One that will be far more interesting, I hope...

    I'm just happy to not work for Marond. Although I daresay X'ian will be far worse to start with...

    I'm not cleaner of that room. I can't remember what it's called. You know, the one with all the hides and stuff? Anyway, X'ian said I could do that instead of the dusting. I don't intend on doing as much cleaning as reading... I can't wait to get smart! He was pretty strict about the rules, though... no touching, no talking, get out if he wants to have sex... and no You. But I'm sure he won't mind if I read a few of the hides now and then, or ask a few questions. I'm working for free, so he better not mind!

    I'm proud. It took a bit to convince him. I thought it might. I bet everyone will think I'm crazy. I think I'm crazy.

    Jess.

    Current Mood: happy
    Monday, October 4th, 2004
    10:11 am

    I am bored.  With everything.

    Dusting and sweeping have always been crappy chores, but lately I find them so mindless, and so boring... I feel like I'm in prison, or something.  I don't know... I just want more from life.  How sad does that sound?

    Sylara suggested helping Michel, or mucking the runner-stalls... I'd rather die, honestly.  They sound just as boring... if not worse.  I want to learn things... to be smart.  You know, like... I don't know.  Stuff.  So that I can write in this journal and not sound like such a dimglow... with all my I don't knows and you know likes.

    I'm going to talk to someone about it.  Anyone.  Preferably someone smart, like M'nty or Wyn.  Maybe even X'ian, if I can bring myself to take all the nasty comments I know he'll have.  Or if he'll even listen.

    Jess.



    Current Mood: discontent
    Saturday, September 25th, 2004
    6:31 pm
    How... dumb.

    I can't beleive that he really thinks that a woman... any woman... will sleep with him.  Like, ever!  Apart from the fact that he's obviously the most horrible person I've ever met in my life, and that his reputation around the weyr isn't exactly one of 'Mr Nice Guy'... the way he talks to people will certainly stop any woman who even considers coming onto him before he even gets a chance to undo his zip.


    He does know how to argue... and something about him makes me know how to argue.  Perhaps I should spend more time in his company... I might glean some sort of smarts from him. 


    In other news, I'm getting better.  Lots faster around the pens, too... at least, I think so.  Having no-one to practise with is kind of hard... I just can't trust enough people around the Weyr to keep it to themselves.  Sooo many people would laugh, or try and lock me up for being crazy.  I definitely need to practise more, though.  Dimglow X'ian had his knife out tonight.  Scared the living daylight out of me.  He used it as a nose for his snowman, but I know he was thinking otherwise. 


    You doesn't like him either.


    Jess.



    Current Mood: irritated
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